I just wanna run away...

I just want to feel nothing, I just wanna run away, I just want to kill my inside, I just want to...I don't know. But I know I want you. This is so painful. I don't think I can take this for much longer, anymore. No, I can't. I'm not strong. I'm a weak human being. How could this happen to me, I question myself...I question you, I question everyone. How? Why? Why did this have to happen? I'm so sick of this, I'm so tired of pretending that everything's gonna be alright, everything's going to be just fine. But it's not. It won't get better as the days get older in this world. It will not be any happier as my mind struggles to survive, because my heart is already dead. If my mind gets murdered too, what's going to happen? What will my life be? It's just going to be a dark and hanged soul. My soul, or at least, it used to be mine...But it seems to be fading away, my life seems to be cursed. And everyday it gets harder, although it was supposed to be the opposite. Happiness was supposed to happen, but it didn't, it doesn't, it won't happen. And life goes on, no matter how hard, no matter how tough things get, no matter what, life, just, goes on...
Because, I just need you here. I just need to hug you and feel you. I just need to feel safe on your arms. I have nowhere to go. Please, comfort me. Please, let me be.
My face gets covered of hurtful tears every single day. And you guess why. You guess what's going through my mind. You finally get it, but maybe that's too late, now. I just got nowhere to run. If I try to scream, I'm silenced. If I try to be silent, others make me scream. So, what's going on with me? I just want one feeling in my life. It's that feeling of being loved by you. For nothing else, I just can't seem to help it. For all that matters and for all the insignificant things in this world, you're all I need.
What if, I want you back? What if, I need you to survive?
Please, oh, honey, will you come back to me? I can take "no" for an answer, but I may be dead by then.